I was that little girl that walked around with a baby on my non existent hip, dreaming of the day when I could be a mother myself one day. Baby dolls were MY baby! I was drawn to kids, and chose summer jobs babysitting, and even became a nanny after graduating highschool. An experience I’m so thankful for. With my family history I was a part of a stable home environment. I soaked it in and learned so much about healthy family dynamics.
My entry into mother hood came at 21, with baby girl number 1, not altogether planned or unplanned! I was thrilled and fell naturally into the transition. So well it went that we planned on another, and baby girl number 2 was born just barely two years after. Busy times!
I had envisioned having 4 children, 2 close in age, a space, and two more close in age. Imagine my surprise when I realized my husband was in essence a 3rd child. He required so much emotional managing, and effort to keep him happy, not causing blow ups etc. Partnered together with the fact I worked 3-4 days a week, I decided that any more kids would be more than I or my marriage could take on. At 25 I had a tubal ligation. Not taken lightly, but not 100% my hearts desire to be done. I woke up from surgery with tears in my eyes, and a sadness it was over.
I embraced life with my two daughters, and have enjoyed raising and loving them more than I could ever express. They are unique and opposite, so loving of each other. Best friends. Everyday they come home from highschool and head to ones room, or the dining room table to catch up and talk. Blessed I am. They never fight!
Done babies at 25. But not feeling done in my heart. What does this lead to? Surrogacy, egg donation, and a tubal reversal.